The empowerment spirals is a tool that was introduced to me already a couple of decades ago by my dear friend and holistic psychologist Stephane Bensoussan. I encourage to follow with the Empowerment Spirals image next to this video. I kept it for a long time posted on my office wall so that it was close by always offering me those reminders to stay at the source of my life and in my center.
This is where we feel the most empowered to make choices and decisions in alignment with what we want to move forward in our life. Let me give you a brief summary of how these empowerment spirals work, just that you have a clear idea as to how to use this tool. It’s an amazing a tool. Let's me go through it with you.
So, if you look at the empowerment spirals, you will notice that there are two circles. We have the one on the left that represents being at the mercy of constantly reacting to life. Being sometimes the victim to things that are happening, what we think is happening to us as opposed to for us, so that we learn from it. To be at the source of our life, be creators proactive in the face of whatever life circumstances come our way.
Usually when I coaching people one-on-one, I'll ask the person to take a look at these two spirals and ask them:
“Self-evaluate where they are today on a percentage of 0% to 100%. Do you find yourself at a hundred percent on the victim mode, or a hundred percent in the creator side. Perhaps it’s 50-50 or 80-20."
There is no judgment here. It is a subjective exercise to evaluate where you stand in this moment. The key is to understand where you are, establish why they might be there, and decide where they want to go moving forward. Simply making a 1% improvement every single day in their choices and actions to move themselves in the direction that they wish to go either personally, professionally, or in relationships, health, any of the spheres within their life right now.
Reactive and Victim Spiral
So if you take a look at the victim side right, or that of being reactive, kind of like the ping pong ball that lands anywhere because it's being shoved in all directions. If you find yourself in this state on the left side, this is when we tend to fear, feel fear. You might feel different emotions:
These are just some examples of some of the negative emotions that might come to the surface and feeling emotions is not a bad thing, it is about learning how to feel them, to let them rise up, label them for what they are, and learn how to understand and process them in a healthy and constructive manner.
In that mode we might start to attract different events in our life that trigger health issues, financial insecurity, any form of abuse, interpersonal conflict, disrespect, bad luck, injustice.
You may experience those feelings in any form, any way in any area of your life, personally, professionally. So be mindful of this state you are in and be aware of what can come out of it.
Proactive and Creator Spiral
Now move over to the right side. When we are aligned with the source of our life, we are creating our life, we're co-creating our life in a more powerful way. We are feeling more of these positive emotions, such as:
We feel more solid. We feel more centered. We feel more in control. Let's say because some things we can control and other things we can't, what we can control is how we choose to respond to events as opposed to being in reactive mode all the time, which can be depleting.
When we are on the creative side of our life, the rays of sun are coming out from the center of us, extending outwards, as opposed to the tornado that pulls everything within.
So here we're attracting more abundance in all forms, optimal health. We feel good. We're attracting “good luck”. Things seem to happen more in our favor. We get in the flow of different events and situations. We have more support from family or friends or colleagues support from the universe, interpersonal respect, and admiration.
These things come to us because we are also extending those same qualities outside of ourselves. So if we want to attract something into our life, we learn how to be in the moment and grateful.
Meditations can help us take the 12 inch journey from our head to our heart and learn to allow our head, our ego-mind, to be friends also with the heart, the feeling, the 'beingness', the intuition.
To recognition that we have the ability to make decisions and choices and to take action. So it's about a balance in our life, not just going with our head all the time, not always with the heart either, but learning how to balance. When we do come from that space, from the source, that place of coming home, that place of centeredness within us, then we can't go wrong.
So to cross the bridge, where the acronym D.A.R.E. at the bottom, to dare making decisions.
What kind of a decision can you make today?
For example, for your health? Perhaps drinking more water, eating more vegetables, cutting out those fast foods, skipping meals.
Perhaps it's with regards to your movement, making sure that at least three times a week, you're getting stimulating physical activity, which will impact you positively, mentally, physically, emotionally.
Making Key Decisions for Our Best Self
All right, So what decisions can you make towards your wellbeing or towards this feeling of coming home to yourself, that we do in the School Happiness 30 day Come Home Challenge.
What actions can you take? Sometimes just responding to an email at work can make all the difference. Ignoring it might send you over to the victim mode and then issues or problems might arise if we don't take action and by taking charge. So it's learning to be discerning on which actions are appropriate in the moment.
This may involved taking risks. Taking risks is what propels us into the newness into doing something different. Doing something different than what you're habitually used to doing. Stepping out of your comfort zone is often where success awaits, on the other side of fear. So we need to take little calculated risks. We're all launching into the unknown, into this new world, new ways of doing things and new.
Connect with others. You do not have to do all of this alone. This is what communities are all about. To bring more sense of connection, to collaborate to help you take those risks and learn from each other so that we can move forward in the direction of our desires with a little bit more ease and feeling that sense of being supported.
Self love. How can you forgive yourself more? How can you go easy on yourself? More? How can you celebrate yourself more? All these expressions of self love, more rest, more movement, more intellectual stimulation, or more mental rest, more gratitude, more appreciation for our friends, our family, our colleagues.
As opposed to always expecting from others and dealing with other people’s expectations on ourselves, which can weigh heavily on us and drag us to the victim side.
How can we bring more lightness and freedom and wellbeing into our lives by using the D.A.R.E. acronym? So we can cross the bridge on that dare from one state tot he other.
Start with where are you now? At what percentage? Where would you like to be?
What decision or action or risk or expression of self love can you engage in today that will move you over to that right side and at the source of your life as a creator and co-creator of your journey.
If you have any other questions on this, at the School of Happiness we offer lots of coaching using this spiral. It's the empowerment spirals. It's an interesting and powerful tool to self-evaluate and to remind ourselves to dare a little bit more, or to offer yourself the self-care you require.
Good luck and be well!