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July 27, 2020

Petra Kolber Talks About Happiness

Petra Kolber

Petra Kolber, International fitness expert, wellness leader, author, speaker and beacon of happiness.

Conversation with Petra Kolber, International fitness expert, wellness leader, author, speaker and beacon of happiness. More about Petra

Dial down the negative and amp up the positive! Need a boost of positive inspiration? This is it.

Hello dear friends, think forward to your best possible future. This conversation reveals so many fun nuggets of happiness wisdom.

This month I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to an industry icon and a woman I respect in the fitness community.

Petra Kolber is an internationally renowned fitness expert and wellness leader. She is known throughout the industry as a crusader for change and a beacon of authentic happiness.

Whether she is speaking, writing, coaching, podcasting, or even DJ’ing, she is inspired and influenced by the science of Positive Psychology.

Our conversation is heart felt and so full of wisdom and inspiration to help us all live our best life without regrets. Discover Petra’s happiness habits and how she learned to think forward to her best possible future. This strategy works even when you don’t have it all figured out!

One of my favourite ‘Petra’ quotes is; “we need to dial down the negative and amp up the positive”. Now that is some advice we can all benefit from!

I am thrilled to share some of the wisdom nuggets that emerged from our conversation.

Have a listen... or scan through the wisdom nuggets below...
I always enjoy hearing from you. Let me know what lit a spark for you in this conversation.

Petra's Nuggets of Happiness Wisdom

  • 4:03 Petra’s definition of happiness
  • 6:17 How Petra discovered how to speak to people’s values, hearts and potential
  • 7:08 How you feel about yourself matters
  • 8:05 Dial down the negative and amp up the positive!
  • 9:01 Petra’s favourite quote and guiding force...
  • 9:43 Why the brain’s default is negative
  • 10:50 If you’ve got to work hard, at least enjoy
  • 13:30 Petra an introvert? Her go-to happiness habits
  • 15:20 Giving up drinking wine and alcohol was a game changer!
  • 19:00 Success leaves clues, Petra Googled what her icons were doing
  • 22:30 Laura shares happiness resilience thoughts and Petra’s strengths
  • 24:00 Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional, amplify your strengths
  • 27:25 What to do when you are feeling low
  • 30:06 No one has it all figured out, think forward to your best possible future self
  • Final words of wisdom

Transcription of Petra Kolber's Conversation with Laura

Laura: (00:03)
Hello, and welcome to happiness habits from the heart where you will find conversations with people who live from the heart and choose happiness and wellness as a way of being I'm Laura Wharf from the school of happiness. And I am so excited to be here today with Petra Kolber Petro. Welcome. Welcome, welcome.

Petra: (00:30)
Thank you, Laura. I can't believe I'm so excited that we are here together finally, cause I know we have a similar but different paths and thank you mostly of all for your grace and flexibility. Uh, and so if those are you just watching for the first time, we probably rescheduled this like 10 times and then I was like, whatever works for you. And that's part of happiness, right. Going with the flow. So it's such a thrill to be here and thank you for your patience.

Laura: (00:56)
Oh, so it's a thank you to you. You know, I've learned just to, to learn that art of acceptance and letting go and that not everything is designed for our human timing, but there's a divine timing around all of this. So I just trusted that, you know, things would fall into place when they were meant to. And um, but I'm honored really to be here with you because I know that you're a very in demand lady. And so I'm excited to be able to spend this short time with you. And, um, let me introduce you first to our viewers and our listeners who are coming on here, perhaps the meeting Petra for the first time. Um, I met Petra, I think in 2008 to at a fitness convention in Myrtle beach in the States. And she was so gracious after the session that I had, I was about to teach and I was teaching right after Petra.

Laura: (01:45)
And those are big shoes to step into. I have to tell you as a new becoming onto AFP that first time, and she was so gracious to lend me her a headset to microphone because the one that was in the room wasn't working that well that day. So from that moment, I felt a heart opening and a connection of, of her grace. And, um, I was so much in gratitude for that, but Petra is, um, has such a colorful journey that I want to share with you, whether she's speaking, writing, coaching podcasting, or now even deejaying, um, she, we can talk about that is I'm very inspired from the science of positive psychology. And so I'm sure Petra will dive into that a little bit. She's a renowned international fitness and wellness expert with so many accolades and awards to her name for speaking engagements and all the videos that she has done over the years and produced.

Laura: (02:43)
And, uh, most recently the last several years, I know Petra, you focused a lot on keynote speaking. So engaging audiences in corporate, in the corporate world, still in the fitness world and diving into keynote, speaking as a, uh, change Crusader and as an authentic happiness beacon, I think a lot of people describe you that way and I can attest cause what I have to say, and I need to share this with people out there watching what I've always admired about Petra. Maybe I'm one of her secret admirers here is what I call the three PS is her ability to speak and to engage people and to inspire and uplift people with such poise professionalism and in such a polished beautiful way that just once leaves you wanting more. Yeah. So Petra, I'm going to start to, let's turn this over to you. Let's begin. I've got a few questions that I'd love to explore with you in the realm of happiness habits from the heart. You are a very heart centered person and you inspire people to live from that space while still being successful and productive and resilient. Um, let's start by just, I want to hear what happiness is to you and what drew you in this direction and the, the happiness realm of the work that you're doing now.

Petra: (04:03)
Hmm. So I think Laura, to me, happiness means being at ease wherever you are. And that's not, it's not a one stop moment. You don't suddenly find ease and then that's it, right? So it's moving in and out of ease, but it's trusting. It's being comfortable with yourself, being comfortable with your choices, um, owning your choices, making choices that are in the best interest of yourself so that you can share your best self with others. It can't be that we are end game, but it's when we learn how to take care of ourselves, we can be there for others. And what brought me to this subject, I think you and I kind of hit on positive psychology pretty much at the same time. And you're one of the first I, you know, in our industry of fitness. So what had happened, there was two things going on.

Petra: (04:50)
One was I had been known in our industry for many years. I was so blessed to have an incredible career. They say, you have a job, a career, a calling. I think I had all three of those throughout my fitness, fitness time moving. Yeah, I was moving into my like late forties, early fifties. And right before that the industry had, was changing. I was known for a choreography. I was the fitness, you know, the step girl and the high, low goal. And that's what was in demand in our industry. And then it shifted pretty quickly over to hit training and boot camp and Tabaddor and all great stuff. Just not stuff that I liked. And so what happened is Laura, at that point, I made a choice to not listen to what I wanted to do and go with what I thought the industry wanted.

Petra: (05:35)
And I did it for a year and I was miserable. I did an okay job. There was people way better, way better at that than I was. And they should have been doing, you know, but what happened is in that moment, I just wasn't feeling happy. I wasn't feeling I was delivering my best work. And I was also seeing a shift in the conversation of people that had come up to me at the end of sessions, some of who have been with me 20 years. And they were always pointing out the faults. They could see in themselves what to do with this, what to do with this. And they could never see how amazing they are. And I was like, something's wrong with this picture? I didn't know what it was. And I started, there must've been something that I Googled Laura. I have no idea what it was.

Petra: (06:17)
Then suddenly this thing called positive psychology came across my, my desktop. I was like, Oh, what's that? And something people had said to me in the past is when I have finished being with you taking a class, I haven't conversation. I already, I always felt so inspired, so awesome. I felt so I've was just so grateful for that. But I was like, so what does that mean? And then when I found this thing called positive psychology law, I was like, Oh, this makes sense. I was speaking to their values. I was seeing their heart. I was speaking to that potential. I was doing what positive psychology says that we need to do the five pillars, the PERMA, you know, recognizing people and engaging with them, helping them create relationships, meaning and a purpose and celebrating their accomplishments. So I was doing this stuff, but now I thought, Oh, there's a science to it.

Petra: (07:08)
So let me go and study the science of basically inspiration. And the more I learned about it, Laura, I was like, this is the missing link. You know, you and I we've studied. I always say, I say, you know, for years I studied the neck down and now I'm interested about what goes on between the ears. Cause it's not, not what you do that matters. It's like, how are you feeling about yourself as you're doing what you're doing, whether it's in fitness or in life or relationships. And so that's kind of how I came across positive psychology. Uh, I was lucky to be one of the, I went into the second sip program. So to fit certificate in positive psychology, with tall Ben Shahar, as one of the thought leaders in the space, it was right before he got super busy that he couldn't commit. So I got in with one of the best instructors and just the more I learned about it, I know. And the more I learned about it, the more I was like, this is our industry needs. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm going to create something. And that's kind of how the journey,

Laura: (08:03)
I have to say. One of those things you said, you don't know what it is. And I've heard you say many times, and I think this is also on your website somewhere is that you help people dial down the negative and amp up the positive, right. You know, and you've got such a gift in being able to verbalize that and you draw upon the positive psychology world and wellness and fitness as well. And I think it really is a mind, body spirit perspective of how we move our bodies because positive psychology tells us that just 15 minutes of rhythmic activity is like taking an antidepressant and great for our overall wellbeing. But you're also, and I want you to maybe dive into this. It's what's going on between our two ears here in our head and how we think and our belief systems and our patterns and how we navigate through our world. And then the heart also, I think really is the three, the body, the mind and the heart, which is connected to our soul and our purpose. Like you say, and our meaning.

Petra: (09:01)
What I love is one of my favorite quotes. It's not mine. It's been attributed to many, many people watch your thoughts because they become your words, what your words, because they become your actions. What's your actions because they become your habits. What your habits get comes your character and your character moves you into your destiny. Everything Laura begins with a thought as you and I know, but in fitness, I always thought everything began with the body. Or I began with an exercise or a piece of cartography. But before that, before we move anything, whether it's our choices, our body, our life, there is a thought that's either moving us forward through a place of possibility and hope and happiness over being moved forward through fear, doubt, dragon, war, warrior negativity. And as you know, the brain's default is the negative. The negativity bias it's watch.

Petra: (09:49)
It's what kept our ancestors alive. And it's why we're here today. But I love the saying by Tara Brock. Uh, fear is only a problem when it oversteps his boundaries and the negative talk and the fear oversteps his boundaries every moment. And the thing is it's become such a part of our DNA, that many of us don't even notice that our day is being run from a place of negative thoughts about ourselves, about the world. And you had said right at the beginning about the word choice, and if we're not aware of the thoughts, how can we choose which ones we want to have, which ones we want to let go of. So that to me is really the key of why it's so important to see what goes on here. I actually think more important than what physically we're doing. We have to move the thoughts first, so that as we are moving our body life, it's from a strong mental space that my, my other side of this is Laura.

Petra: (10:46)
We're all working so hard. And you know, bar mine is life can feel like a grind. Sometimes if we're working that hard, let's at least have some joy and create resilience along the way. It's not that the work's going to be any less, but the sensation of the work that we're doing, the effort, the ability to be comfortable in our own skin to not second guess our own choices, it just elevates the process. My whole thing these days is if you got to work hard, let's at least enjoy. Let's add some joy and some levity into it. It's I say, it's interval training for life. It's not a one stop shop, but really look at these thoughts and then really look at which ones we're putting in the driver's seat of our life. And more often than not, not always more often than not. It's the negative one.

Petra: (11:34)
So how can we bring our awareness, all the work that you do, Laura, our attention to what it is not disowning or discounting any of it, but shining a light on the negative as well as the positive, not putting it off into a box because what you don't own will own you, but really looking at what is under that, of that feeling, right? That feeling that we don't like, because it's uncomfortable, we push it away. It's not the feeling. What is the thought that triggered that feeling? Whether that feeling is hunger or loneliness or sadness or disappointment when we can sit with all of ourselves and then make the choice of what actually want to take to move ourselves out of that place, if we need to that's when the heart work begins.

Laura: (12:20)
Yes. Honoring those inner emotional currents, which have so much to teach us about our patterns and our beliefs and our history, and that doesn't need to govern how we move forward in our life. And you teach a workshop actually years ago. I think I tended it called moving to happiness. And you infuse a lot of these principles that you're talking about into movement as well, to be able to embody it and to feel it into flesh, those emotions and feelings and, you know, and learn to sense cause we're multisensory beings as well. So then maybe we can step into Petro. How do you cultivate happiness in your own life there? I know that you have wellness rituals when you are in your fear state or an emotional state as we all are. And I think we can't deny that as human beings, we need to honor that there are ebbs and flows in life that the highs, the lows and everything in between. And I love how you said that we need to learn to sit with whatever's there. Cause what you, what we repress, what we suppress or repress, um, you know, will come up again at some point. Um, so maybe dive into a little bit, what are some of Petras wellness or happiness rituals when

Petra: (13:28)
Yeah, well, I think for me, Laura, it's two things it's being stale. It's being quiet. I'm actually an introvert. No one would guess that I'm one of the errors I made in my early days. Uh, I didn't even know what an introvert wise, but I was go, go, go, go, go. And I was always, I love is, I guess I'm an ambivert, but more of an introvert. I would go all the time at fitness conventions, presentations, keynote. And I wouldn't allow myself that time to recover and really kind of re refuel myself. So a part of my ritual is really taken I'm alone a lot. And I really enjoy that. You know, it's like, I was like, I've got not become too comfortable with my own company, but that old lady with five cats, you know, it's like, so it's like, I do have to like honor that quiet time.

Petra: (14:16)
I leave a lot of it more than I even think I do. And then it's also moving. Cause I work a lot in my head right now. I'm working on a lot of, you know, uh, you know, online stuff. And when I'm busy on the computers always could be. So it's easy. It's almost embarrassing to say as someone who was known in the industry for fitness, it's very easy for me to go through a day and barely take 600 steps. So first thing in the morning, I try and get out into central park. So I'm in nature. Even with covert happening, I get out early enough. I can take my mask off and there's a little place in the park called the Ramblers that if you didn't know you would, you could be in the middle of anywhere and there's often no one around me.

Petra: (14:55)
So I'll do that go pretty phenomenal for New York city. Yeah. I'm so blessed. Cause I live literally 10 minutes away from there. So I have the river on one side and the park on the other, which is rich, keeps me sane. And then I think the other big thing for me, and this is kind of weird. I look at these habits, right? And this work by your, these Keystone habits with all like these mini habits, it might be meditation, mindfulness reading. This is one that this is one thing that if you can get a hold of it will have a ripple effect on all areas of your life. And a big choice that I made Laura last year was I gave up drinking completely. So I wasn't a big drinker. I was, I like a glass of wine here and there, but it wasn't working for me, effected my sleep.

Petra: (15:44)
It affected my mood. It made me feel depressed. It, it didn't make me feel good. And I read this amazing book called the naked brain by Annie grace. She changed my life. And so now I don't, I don't drink. I don't dabble. I don't. I just know. And it was weird, Laura. It was like it. I really, while it wasn't a problem, I'm like, Hmm, I'm thinking every night at six o'clock, do I want to drink or do I not a drink? Maybe that is a problem. So I just, I gave it up. I was going to go for a month and then I went for two months and I was like, I don't want to miss it. And I, so really the big, I'm not, there's no judgment on this for me personally at my age, I don't metabolize alcohol. Well, I spent over a year now.

Petra: (16:27)
No alcohol whatsoever. It has, I've never been so steady in my mood, in my happiness. I can ride out those dips. I get to be able to ride the dips of even my own emotions without getting pulled down there. So I say, honestly, the biggest happiness habit for me was giving up alcohol. That's not a judgment again. I want to be really clear about that. But for me personally, and I also want to look like happiness habits for me is embodying and taking them to choices that are for my best possible future. And then not always convenient. It can be really annoying. Like, do I really have to give that up? Do I really, you know, should I really be exercising every day? How committed am I committed? Am I to my best possible future? And I think you'd asked me before, you know, when do I feel happy at my happiest?

Petra: (17:20)
It's what I'm making choices that are in alignment to me living my best possible future. And anytime I don't make that choice, that's one kind of, like I say, my heart and my head are out of alignment that, that static, um, cause I'm like, why would you do that? You know, better. And I'm also human, like tall, Ben Shahar says be imperfectly human allow you that flawed cell for all gonna make choices that are not in our best interest, but when I can make more of them that are in alignment of my best possible future, that's when I'm at my happiest,

Laura: (17:53)
I think too. And that's beautiful. And thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability. And my guess also is that you've done a lot of the groundwork for so many years as well in fitness and wellness industry. And I know in yoga and meditation and mindfulness to cultivate and develop a deep sense of self awareness. So I think you were able also to get to the point of understanding these, what energy boosters are and what energy drainers are. And gosh, you know, this makes me this uplifts me, this depletes me and then making choices to be more with those uplifting choices as opposed to the depletion ones. So I think that's really a deep and a really great happiness habit, but I think people can then reflect on what are those things that just make me not feel my best self and what are those things that do make me feel good. And generally it's movement and nutrition and nature. You're, I'm right with you on that one that has to be daily for me, um, to help us feel our best. And I like what you said about stepping into your best future self. So you're cultivating your tomorrow by what you do today.

Petra: (18:59)
Yeah. And it's interesting when I started Googling the people, I admired the thing I was Googling, I was like, this is a really good insight to our own. Like what are we battling with when I started Googling, does will Smith drink? Does J-Lo drink just Oprah drink because those are my icons. Right? How did they keep going at that level? And most of it, I was like, yeah, no. I was like, Ooh, okay. So, you know, it was just like interesting their habits, their habits, you know, and again, I love this idea and I'm not the first to say it, but success leaves clues. So, you know, success leaves clues. If someone you admire you like how they're living Laura, I admire how you live your life. Look at what Laura's doing. She leaves her clues of success and then just follow them. You know, we tend to try and question the things that are inconvenient to us that are not the easy choices per se.

Laura: (19:52)
And it's one thing, sorry, Petra. I was going to say, cause it's, I agree with you. It's one thing. And knowing them, you know, we read something in a book or we listen to an interview or we see one of our mentors or idols or people that we look up to, but it's in the second is actually getting into action and doing it and being consistent with that action, then that's where it starts to take shape.

Petra: (20:10)
Yeah. And the thing is we're in that microwave society, right? Laura, we look around everybody else and we think, Oh, well how can they doing it so easy? No, no, no, no, no. They had starts and fails and starts and fails. I cannot tell you how many times I started to not drink. And then I started again, I stopped and I stopped. And then all of a sudden like, but it was the, I call it like planting the seeds. You know, we don't see all the hard work that people are doing and your life and my life. And both people, you know, people watching right now you're planting seeds and then auras in these three years. So new people, what people see is this and they exp they think it's not, I honestly wish I could say differently. Nothing worth having is easy because it means you have to stretch yourself in courage and confidence in your belief of yourself and the belief of owning your own choices without worrying what other people might think.

Petra: (21:01)
I think that's the big one than me with happiness. It's like, wow, can I really be so confident in my, not always saying that the best choices, you know, but can I be confident to make a choice that I can own, whether it's success a success or a perceived failure, but I've owned it because I knew it was from the right intention. And it was from my heart, not a decision or a choice that I made. So I would please other people that was a big, probably the hardest lesson and the longest lesson it's taken me to learn and execute. And now Laura, because I really have, I think I've done. I'm saying, I think I'm 98% sure I'm in that place right now. Of course it hurts. It's if I make a choice and someone doesn't like it half the time that person doesn't like it, I don't even really know them.

Laura: (21:51)
Cause you're in the service industry. We at some level of wanting to please and create positive experiences for other

Petra: (21:58)
Yeah. But it's re recognizing, right. That you gotta, you can't please, everybody, you gotta stand for something or you'll stand for nothing. But the more certain I get, I'm clear that I, my intentions are always good. I always have other people's best interest in heart. I'm prepared to take this leap, come with me. Maybe it will work if it doesn't, it was from a good intention. So, uh, yeah, that was one, that's one that I'm still working on right now, really letting go of what they think of me. Right. And just doing the work that I believe is worth doing.

Laura: (22:31)
Yeah, absolutely. You know, it's and that's learning to follow your heart path and that's part of what this, all the happiness habits and heartfulness and that heartfulness is that merging of these polarities of the mind and the body and our choices and our actions and all the intricate details in between, but being able to stay in your lane course, correct. When you need to, but follow your GPS, you know, what you do feel inside as well. Um, this leads me to a flash that came to me this morning when I was walking and I was thinking about our conversation and the words came to me, happiness resilience. And as human beings, we all go through our ups and downs and we are never immune to challenges. And I think it's how we face those challenges with courage and strength and that build this resilience. And you're really good at this Petra.

Laura: (23:17)
I think you're, you've always embodied an authenticity and a vulnerability. And you say, what's there, you have that unique ability also to verbalize it. So could you maybe express a little bit about, you know, what could you, maybe there's a nugget of wisdom there for you of what happiness resilience is. And we're all as collective humanity right now, globally living through times of change, really since, since the beginning of 2020. Um, so what are ways that we can navigate through these changes with greater ease and grace to maintain a steady? Not that we're happy to all the time we don't need to be, but there's, there's a happiness resilience that's present. Do you know what I mean?

Petra: (23:59)
Two things come to mind. One is a great quote by Pema Chodron, who we all love. And I love this idea of the difference between pain and suffering. She says pain is inevitable and we are in a global pain right now with this pandemic. But suffering is optional and suffering is wanting things to be different than they are. I was like, Oh, that's so good.

Laura: (24:22)
Her book living beautifully. I wrote that one

Petra: (24:25)
So good. It's like, yes, yes. When we can be with what is, and it's not always what we like. And then I, one of my favorite definitions of resilience by is by Edith grot, Berg. And she worked with resilience in children. And I just think it's brilliant. I think oftentimes we feel like we have to just do it all ourselves unite. We just got to muscle up and, and that's not what resilience is. She has this idea of resilience being a triangle of, I am. I have an ICANN. I am. This comes from positive psychology, your inner strengths, your the 24 character strengths that can never be taken from you. It's what you had pre COVID is what you have. Now. Our strengths can only be amplified. Uh, you know, you can go to via, uh, and just take a quick 20 minute, multiple choice to find your innate character strengths.

Petra: (25:17)
Those are always with you. They can be amplified and never taken away from you. Those are I am. I have Laura. You are the work that Laura does, your tribe, your family, the people that you, you call your inner choir. You have people around you that when you're feeling down, you can ask for help. You have people around you. When you're feeling strong, you can reach down and give them help. And then there's, I can, and I love this. I it's a willingness it's I, I can, I might not know how to. Now. I like to encourage people to use the word yet. So let's say covert happens. So many people had to get online. Virtually. You could say, I don't know how to use zoom, or you could say, I don't know how to use zoom yet. I don't know how to be on camera.

Petra: (26:03)
Or you could say, I don't know how to be on camera yet. It's this willingness to learn to say, I'm able, I'm going to show up. I'm going to do the work and do the learning that I need to do to close the gap of where I am, where I want to be and not see that gap as a flaw, like, see, I'm too old to learn zoom, or I'm not techie smart. You get to choose or go. You know, I, ain't going to use this as another, another opportunity to strengthen my brain rewire those neuropathways that we need to be using any way to keep our brain active and pliable. And I'm going to use this as an opportunity to grow. We get to choose. So I love that idea. Resilience being that I am a half and I can, I just think it's so profound because it means we don't. Resilience is not built in a vacuum. It's built in relationships and a willingness to say, I am going to show up and do the work.

Laura: (26:56)
So then on those moments, when we are feeling down or fearful or anything, that is just, we have those days where there's more obstacles sometimes than wins and a, do you have a GoTo? You said, there's those people in your circle that you can reach out to and call for help. And earlier you said, you get really still, and you need that alone time, or you go for a walk in your trail. So are those, some of the habits that you can go to, to stay real resilient and to stay well when those times are maybe on the lower end of the scale?

Petra: (27:25)
Yeah, I have to say, I think when I've been at my lowest and that there was a few, few years ago, um, I was so interesting. The thing that really gets me out of the deep, deep lows for me is moving, getting into nature and taking, if I'm crying, you know, I might be listening to music crying, but I'm moving, I'm moving through my I'm allowing sadness to move through me. Uh, cause that way it can move through me an outlet. I'm just trying to like step it down. But the interesting thing, permanent. Yes, I know. But that to me is if I had to pick one, go to, it would be that get on a nature, cry if you have to move with it. And it just, it just, at the end of that walk, it never seems quite so bad.

Laura: (28:10)
I agree with you. Cause I've had those moments as well, where I think do I just go lie down and curl up in my bed and close the blinds. But when you wallow it, it feels good too. Sometimes when you're really totally wiped out. Um, but it's so true that movement and circulation and fresh air and changing your mindset and looking at things from a fresh perspective, then we, we all feel those things, but we can choose how long we stay in that state. I think that's what I've learned anyway. It's like, I, I, I feel them intensely as well, but it's like, do I want to stay here? What do I need to learn from this right now? What's this, what's the teaching in this. Sometimes you figure it out. Sometimes there might not be and that's okay too. It's learning to accept things as they are and feeling what's there in the moment and within a few hours that wave passes and

Petra: (28:59)
Agreed, you know? And then sometimes, you know, it's just like, I'm going to go, I'm going to watch some Netflix. I'm going to eat some chocolate. And then I never feel it's. I never feel as good afterwards as the walk, but sometimes you know what, I've gotta be perfectly human and just go with what you need in that moment. Yeah.

Laura: (29:15)
There's comfort under a nice cozy blanket with, uh, your favorite snack, uh, Petra. That's amazing such amazing wisdom nuggets. Thank you so much. Is there anything else that you'd like to share either, uh, about how to integrate these tools or any final thoughts that you feel that you'd like to express as we conclude our happiness habits from the heart conversation?

Petra: (29:37)
I think it's just trusting yourself and knowing that none of us have it out. You know, we often look at other people, maybe Laura, maybe my son, all these, they seem to feel, no, we don't. I love this idea of the doc, right? We look at so many people think it won't even like in COVID well that they're dealing with this situation better than I am, or there's always that comparison. Just I encourage you to let go of that. Because again, we might look like we're swimming like a duck we're underneath our oldest paddling to keep up with each other. So this idea of none of us have it figured out, I think life, the figuring out process is actually why we're here. And all the one thing that's getting more and more clear to me, the invitation I would give to you is thinking forward to your best possible future self.

Petra: (30:26)
The thing I am committed to now more than anything in my own life and the people that I work with is living a life so that you, when you get to your end of your life, which I have to say, unfortunately, I have more years behind me now than I had. So does that, you know, that clock ticking, the one regret I would have is if I was to look back and go, what AF so I want to help people and encourage you to live a life of no regrets where the only thing you leave at the end of this life is a life of love and your legacy and that you don't leave this life with regrets. That to me is the only failure try full forward, fail forward, get down, get back up again, make it messy. Don't worry about it being perfect.

Petra: (31:13)
Just try but be in your life. Get out of our phones, get into your life, uh, have those heartfelt conversations, connect deeply with the people that matter to you. Don't lose sight of that to the best that you can show up for yourself every day, because the world needs you. The world needs your voice, your family, your friends need you. And we can take care of ourselves, which is not a selfish act. It's the least selfish thing you can do so they can then shine your light. So brightly, you allow people to see the possibility, my encourage you all to live the possibility of how life can be when we don't live it perfectly. But we live it in the moment honoring ourselves and then just spread kindness, wherever you can.

Petra: (31:57)
So many quotes came through my head one right now just like says is what I have to say more beautiful than silence. Cause you've just concluded it so perfectly. But so Wayne Dyer said, don't die with the music still in you and Marie Forleo said everything is figureoutable. So yeah, looking for those, those wisdom nuggets are always, those are my little anchor sometimes that helped me through those moments and, and you've just summarized all of that. So eloquently again with the three P's that I say Petra does so well, the poise polished and professional and um, but with such heart and authenticity and grace. So, wow. Thank you. So for sharing

Laura: (32:40)
Your wisdom and for taking time, cause I know that you have a lot going on and you're working on some really inspiring projects right now, and I'd love people to know more about what you're doing. So how can people get in touch with you if they want to know about your happiness courses, your confidence courses, your keynote speeches, um, let us know your website, your podcasts, all of that. I think probably the best place. Laura is my website, Petra, P E T R a K O L B as in boy, E Pretty much has everything that, the speaking, the podcasting, that confidence you name it, it's the one stop shop. So great. I'll put that link also just to under this, when this is posted on school of and a, so your link will be right there with your bio and the video. So people will have direct access to Petra Kolber and all her wonderful heartfelt wisdom. Thank you so much. Nama stay. Thank you.

About the Author

Laura Warf is the founder of the School of Happiness holistic wellness center whose methods are based on tools from ancient teachings to today’s current research to inspire others to take charge of their complete well-being by following her 8 essential elements to health and happiness. She is a healthy living advocate, passionate wellness educator and mind-body specialist offering services in corporate wellness, yoga, meditation, energetic balancing, and fitness conditioning. Laura is also co-founder of the Mend My Back at
For more about Laura visit:

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